D3 body, D1 cock
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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