What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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