She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize