dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
