Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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