he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
