I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
