If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
