I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
