3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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