Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
