my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
