Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
