Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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