Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
