you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There r osticjed everywhere
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wear drunk well.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize