Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
