and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
