I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize