4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
