Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
