I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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