Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
