Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
