Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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