Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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