you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sober January is a disaster.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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