can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
