Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
