I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
