Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it's like iHOP with fire
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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