my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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