Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
