You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
