do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
