they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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