I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
