Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
