textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
