I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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