Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
