there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
