yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
