i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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