We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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