no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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