ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
