Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Sober January is a disaster.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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