He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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