there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
