Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she smelled like a LAN party
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
