is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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