Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
