You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
