I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
