Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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