when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
