Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
