Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
