she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
