is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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